oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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