Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
