Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
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it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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