tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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