why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
