Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
