can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
All the doctor said was why
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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