it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
