True but thats because hes a fetus.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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