Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
