Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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