I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
