Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
