i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
