i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
