***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
