She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
