his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
