i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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