I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
