Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
