So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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