You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
