did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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