Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
