eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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