he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
