i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
