i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
