I just made out with a guy for $7.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
