so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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