Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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