she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
