Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
