Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
