we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
