People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
