every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
