The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
