Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
