Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
