I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
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