Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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