This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The feeling are messing with the penis
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
