you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
