Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
