Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
did i just pee glitter
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
