Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
