But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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