Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
tell me about the eggs
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
