I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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