If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
